Friday, May 31, 2002

 
music:none
So ive made it through my pledge quarter....I am now a neophyte and if my grades are up to par i will be initiated as a brother over the summer.....I sit in front of my computer contemplating life...as i see my friends all start to head their seperate ways for the summer i think of my leaving....less than a week and i have to say goodbye to cincinnati......possibly for good................i realize as i look back on this year just how it has changed me..... i know not everything has changed for the better.........i do understand who i am is not who i always act as....i act out to get attention....i act funny because i want people to like me...i dont know if i will ever be loved again for who i really am or if this said person would fall for the facade i put on.....i have become a much deeper thinker this year though and i have to give myself credit there....i dont know how ive made it. with all of the problems i have had in school on top of loving and losing some people that were very near and dear to my heart...i fell ill when i think of some of the things i have done this year to various people and i wonder why they even still talk to me...i hope that in the future i will be able to not hurt thos who care so dearly about me......

On a lighter note i met this awesome girl at FIJI island last weekend...while i dont know her too well yet she seems like a real sweetheart...she is as beautiful as anyone ive ever met....like an angel fell from the sky into our front yard and magically started talking to me....i dont know how she feels about me but i guess ill start to find out as time goes on.... maybe ill even let her know the real me.... it will be tough.... only 3 or 4 people if that know who i really am deep down inside..........................
The Old Man posted this at 11:05 PM.